You know when you're looking at the blank inside of the card you just bought and you can't think of ONE thing to write?!
Well, have no fear!
Here's a collection of great birthday quotes to save your skin!
Do you need a witty retort about turning 40? Head to the
40th birthday quotes page...
Is you're good friend hitting the big five "O"? Try out the
50th birthday quotes page...
This page leads to quotes on a few other special occasions as well. Check out the
anniversary quotes page
for words to celebrate a marriage milestone.
Is someone you know retiring? How about a few well chosen words from the
retirement quotes page.
Sometimes a quote can encompass all you want to say succinctly in a few neat lines, that's the beauty of quotes!
Funny Birthday Quotes
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician."
(Anonymous)
“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.”
(Robert Frost)
“The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.”
(E. Joseph Cossman)
“Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.”
(Stephen Wright - Comedian)
“There is still no cure for the common birthday.”
(John Glenn - Astronaut)
"We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it."
(Anonymous)
"The first hundred years are the hardest."
(Wilson Mizner)
"Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children."
(George Bernard Shaw)
“Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.”
(Maurice Chevalier)
"Birthdays are like busses, never the number you want."
(Anonymous)
“Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not
to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.”
(Jerry Seinfeld)
"A well adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she's going to exchange it for."
(Anonymous)
"It's so sad to grow old alone. My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows."
(Anonymous)
"Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?"
(Bobby Kelton)
"You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
(Bob Hope)
Well I hope you enjoyed this collection of funny birthday quotes! Another year is always gonna pass, might as well take it with a smile...
Happy Birthday Quotes
"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest."
(Larry Lorenzoni)
"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed."
(Charles Schulz)
"If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older."
(Abraham Sutzkever)
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened."
(Jennifer Yane)
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.
(Author Unknown)
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
(Abraham Lincoln)
"The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet."
(Robert Orben)
"Everyone is the age of their heart."
(Guatemalan proverb)
"A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age."
(Anonymous)
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