TV Quotes

Our favorite tv shows provide us with hilarious characters who deliver great lines day in and day out.

The very best of those characters are those we grow to know and love.

When one of these beloved characters utters a line, no matter how ridiculous, it rings true with who they are as people.

I hope you will enjoy this collection of great tv quotes. Hopefully they'll bring back some memories and get you reacquainted with some of your favorite characters.

Some tv shows have their own pages while the rest of this page has more tv quotes.

TV Shows

Arrested Development Quotes

Family Guy Quotes

The Office Quotes (American/British)

Seinfeld Quotes

Homer Simpson Quotes

TV Quotes

"Oh honey somebody got some flowers...or as I like to call them "poor people's jewelery""
(Megan Mullaly as Karen Walker, Will and Grace)

"What on earth could have made him think I was interested in him? All I did was ask him if he was attached, and then we talked about the theater and men's fashions.…Oh, my God!"
(Kelsey Grammer as Frasier Crane)

"How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? Sex IS what we want!"
(Kelsey Grammer as Frasier Crane, Frasier)

"[responding to a caller] Roger, at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunneling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem."
(Kelsey Grammer as Frasier Crane, Frasier)

"Pretty, pretty, pretty...pretty good"
(Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiam)

"You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes."
(Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiam)

Alan: There's a special section in Hell reserved for people like you Charlie.
Charlie: That's good, because I'd hate to stand in line!
(Two and a Half Men)

"Love's not blind; love's retarded"
(Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper, Two and a Half Men)

"[Chastising Ted for waiting to have sex with a woman] “The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11 months old.”"
(Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson)

"Forman, you should write a book..."Things My Dad Threatened to Put Up My Ass"....Chapter 1: His foot."
(Danny Masterson as Steven Hyde, That 70s Show)

"You're right, Jackie, the Fonz could beat up Bruce Lee."
(Topher Grace as Eric Forman, That 70s Show)

"Panties! Glorious panties!"
(Topher Grace as Eric Forman, That 70s Show)

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